{"id":831,"date":"2016-05-11T16:31:17","date_gmt":"2016-05-11T14:31:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/coachingsavoie.com\/blog\/?p=831"},"modified":"2017-02-16T15:28:58","modified_gmt":"2017-02-16T14:28:58","slug":"communication-le-piege-n1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/coachingsavoie.com\/blog\/communication-le-piege-n1\/","title":{"rendered":"Communication, le pi\u00e8ge N\u00b01"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2>En communication le risque N\u00b01 est celui de la divination au carr\u00e9<\/h2>\n<p>Je m&rsquo;explique en l&rsquo;illustrant par 3 exemples de\u00a0\u00bb non\u00a0\u00bbcommunication .<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Qui n\u2019a jamais pens\u00e9 na\u00efvement que l\u2019Autre avait forc\u00e9ment compris et devin\u00e9\u00a0? \u00ab\u00a0J\u2019ai envie de travailler avec untel, et j\u2019attends qu\u2019il le devine\u00a0!\u00a0\u00bb<\/li>\n<li>Qui n\u2019a jamais r\u00eav\u00e9 que l\u2019Autre comprenne ce que l\u2019on ressent, ce qu\u2019on d\u00e9sire sans avoir \u00e0 lui dire\u00a0?\u00a0: \u00ab Je suis fatigu\u00e9(e) de pr\u00e9parer le repas, je r\u00eave de sortir ce soir et j\u2019attends qu\u2019il, qu\u2019elle m\u2019invite\u00a0!\u00a0\u00bb<\/li>\n<li>Qui n\u2019a jamais eu la certitude d\u2019avoir parfaitement compris, de savoir, encore mieux que l\u2019Autre m\u00eame, ce qu\u2019il pense\u00a0? \u00ab\u00a0Je suis s\u00fbr(e), qu\u2019elle m\u2019en veut de ce que je lui ai dit hier\u00a0\u00bb<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-832 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/coachingsavoie.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/boule-de-cristal-300x168.jpg\" alt=\"La divination en communication\" width=\"300\" height=\"168\" srcset=\"https:\/\/coachingsavoie.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/boule-de-cristal-300x168.jpg 300w, https:\/\/coachingsavoie.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/boule-de-cristal-768x430.jpg 768w, https:\/\/coachingsavoie.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/boule-de-cristal.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Dans tous ces cas, le m\u00eame fantasme\u00a0: <strong>celui de la divination.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Nous souffrons (le r\u00eaveur, l\u2019attentiste) et profitons (le d\u00e9cideur) tous, plus ou moins, et tour \u00e0 tour de ce syndrome. Dans notre vie professionnelle, personnelle et familiale, dans mes coachings, je constate l\u2019amplitude du ph\u00e9nom\u00e8ne\u00a0!<\/p>\n<p>Une prolif\u00e9ration qui s\u2019explique par le fait que la divination se vit au carr\u00e9\u00a0: je crois que l\u2019Autre a ce pouvoir de divination, et de la m\u00eame fa\u00e7on je crois avoir le pouvoir de deviner ce que l\u2019Autre ressent, vit, sans avoir \u00e0 lui poser la question\u00a0! Le tout multipli\u00e9 par le nombre d\u2019intervenants, de sujets, etc\u2026, je vous laisse imaginer le nombre d\u2019occasion de malentendus et de ranc\u0153urs\u00a0!<\/p>\n<h3>Car le fantasme de la divination en communication, s\u2019accompagne du \u00ab\u00a0syndrome de l\u2019\u00e9conomie\u00a0\u00bb.<\/h3>\n<p>C&rsquo;est \u00e0 dire, \u00e9conomie de formulation, <strong>je montre de plus en plus, mais je dis de moins en moins.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Combien de fois ai-je demand\u00e9 simplement \u00e0 mes clients \u00ab\u00a0et tu lui as dit\u00a0?\u00a0\u00bb, ou \u00ab il, elle le sait\u00a0?\u00a0\u00bb,\u00a0ou encore \u00ab comment sais-tu qu\u2019il, qu\u2019elle pense ceci ou cela\u00a0?\u00a0\u00bb, \u00ab\u00a0et comment peux-tu \u00eatre s\u00fbr(e), qu\u2019il, qu\u2019elle va te r\u00e9pondre \u00e7a\u00a0?\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n<p>Or, d\u2019apr\u00e8s les r\u00e9ponses obtenues et mes observations, il semble qu\u2019avec le temps, les habitudes, les d\u00e9ceptions, et la familiarit\u00e9, la paresse et\/ou le renoncement s\u2019installent progressivement.<\/p>\n<p>En tant qu\u2019\u00e9metteur, je grogne, j\u2019opine du chef, je hausse les yeux au ciel, je soupire, je lance un regard assassin. <strong>Je multiplie les messages non verbaux pour FAIRE COMPRENDRE \u00e0 l\u2019Autre plut\u00f4t que de DIRE ce que je ressens, ce que je veux.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Et lorsque je suis le r\u00e9cepteur, <strong>je d\u00e9code les messages non verbaux de l\u2019Autre, en les interpr\u00e9tant et en les d\u00e9formant \u00e0 ma guise\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n<h3>Or, FORMULER, et BIEN formuler, c\u2019est-\u00e0-dire, s\u2019exprimer clairement et intelligiblement, \u00e9vite 4 \u00e9cueils majeurs<\/h3>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>La frustration<\/strong>\u00a0: je n\u2019attends pas, j\u2019agis. Je vais au devant de mes d\u00e9sirs, de mes attentes, je provoque la chance et l\u2019occasion.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Le malentendu<\/strong>\u00a0: forc\u00e9ment, ce qui n\u2019est pas \u00ab\u00a0dit\u00a0\u00bb est difficilement \u00ab\u00a0entendable\u00a0\u00bb, et donc \u00ab\u00a0mal entendu\u00a0\u00bb !<\/li>\n<li><strong>L\u2019in\u00e9vitable mauvaise foi<\/strong>\u00a0: \u00ab\u00a0mais tu nous as jamais dit\u00a0!\u00a0\u00bb, \u00ab\u00a0vous ne nous avez jamais demand\u00e9\u00a0!\u00a0\u00bb\u00a0: En formulant clairement, la personne se met \u00e0 l\u2019abri de la mauvaise foi de l\u2019Autre. Car qui n\u2019a jamais \u00ab\u00a0profit\u00e9\u00a0\u00bb du silence de l\u2019Autre\u00a0? \u00ab\u00a0Vous ne m\u2019avez jamais demand\u00e9 d\u2019augmentation\u00a0!\u00a0\u00bb, \u00ab\u00a0tu ne m\u2019as jamais dit que tu tenais tant \u00e0 ce week-end\u00a0!\u00a0\u00bb<\/li>\n<li><strong>L\u2019interpr\u00e9tation<\/strong>\u00a0: je d\u00e9code \u00e0 tort, je projette sur l\u2019Autre des id\u00e9es, des intentions qui ne sont pas, et n\u2019ont jamais \u00e9t\u00e9 les siennes\u2026<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Mon conseil pour \u00e9viter de tomber dans ces travers\u00a0? D\u00e9jouez les pi\u00e8ges de la communication et de la divination, en <a href=\"https:\/\/coachingsavoie.com\/blog\/leducation-un-handicap-en-communication\/\">OSANT DIRE<\/a> ou DEMANDER, et en V\u00c9RIFIANT aupr\u00e8s de l\u2019Autre si ce que vous avez imagin\u00e9 est fond\u00e9\u00a0!<\/p>\n<p>Surtout, surtout, renoncez une fois pour toute \u00e0 cette satan\u00e9e divination\u00a0!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>En communication le risque N\u00b01 est celui de la divination au carr\u00e9 Je m&rsquo;explique en l&rsquo;illustrant par 3 exemples de\u00a0\u00bb non\u00a0\u00bbcommunication . Qui n\u2019a jamais pens\u00e9 na\u00efvement que l\u2019Autre avait forc\u00e9ment compris et devin\u00e9\u00a0? \u00ab\u00a0J\u2019ai envie de travailler avec untel, et j\u2019attends qu\u2019il le devine\u00a0!\u00a0\u00bb Qui n\u2019a jamais r\u00eav\u00e9 que l\u2019Autre comprenne ce que l\u2019on [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[125],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v18.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Le pi\u00e8ge de la divination en communication : fantasmes et d\u00e9sillusions !\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/coachingsavoie.com\/blog\/communication-le-piege-n1\/\" 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